Courting isn’t a time for having feelings for pecking, kissing, deep romance or what-a-view. It isn’t a time for sex either. It’s a period way too serious than all this. It is a period to talk and understand differences between two lovers. However, it is a thing to talk, while it is another thing to know what to talk about while courting.
Period of courtship is expected to be a preparation for marriage. There are lots of things to know and understand, and how can you know and understand if you don’t talk.
KEYS THAT CAN HELP YOU TO TALK CONSTRUCTIVELY
Are you confused or ignorant about what to talk about while courting? The various topics that could be selected? Below are various things to talk about while courting, which in turn prepares you for an happy & better marriage.
1. Ask yourselves questions. What looks ambiguous & non understandable to you about your partner, make enquiry about them. Keep asking.
2. Always look back and see if what you have discussed is able to give you glorious home. Have you dealt with all issues that ought to be dealt with? Never go into the marriage if you are not sure.
Asses your backgrounds, both of you’s do’s and dont’s, your weaknesses, verbal skills, etc.
3. Another thing to talk about is the expected roles of both individuals in the marriage: His roles as husband and father and her roles as wife mother of your children. Do not overlook this, as it is very crucial.
While talking about it, it might be as an agreement/contract between you both.
4. Talk about the number of children you will both wiush to have, and also, the type of family planning you both would employ to use.
Talk about the gap that will be between your children. This helps in reducing cost stresses when you both eventually get married.
5. Talk about the Mental, Social, Psychological and Spiritual philosophy of life. Talk about it with your lover. It makes them know the side which you take & believe in. It also makes your partner aware of your ways and pattern of dealing with issues.
6. Talk about your sense of humour. Perhaps you’re a person that doesn’t laugh or joke, just study and pray every minute? Or you’re the one who jokes excessively? It is crucial you talk about it now.
This is really important amongst what to talk about while courting. It makes your lover know you more, & decide if he/she can cope with his/her sense of humor or not.
7. How much do you want your wife/husband to depend on you? Talk about it now.
To what extent can you also depend on him/her? Talk about it now.
8. Talk about you much you can control your anger. some spouse will say “whenever I’m in rage or angry, the only person that can calm me down is my mother or maybe someone else”. Some will say “leave me for sometime and I will get over it”. Any which way it is, please talk about it now.
9. Discuss the degree of your partner’s friendship with opposite sex that you can allow. Talk about your individual personal friends. How much you want the interference of family members, etc. Talk about them now.
10. Talk about your attitude towards weight. Many ladies are slim before marriage but fat after marriage. if you are a type that likes slim lady, look at her mother if she has, because, she’s likely to look like her mother later in life. For men , pot belly etc. Talk about it now.
11. Talk about your location – where to settle down after marriage. The geographical, commercial and social areas that’s best to live in. Talk about it
12. Talk about your choice of luxury. And how you place priority of them.
13. Talk about your health standard, & how you treat it. Perhaps, you’re you the type that uses the drug or faith? Talk about it.
14. Talk about getting House helpers such as maid, Gardner, gateman, driver, dry cleaner, house cleaner etc, or not.
15. Talk about your nature of food, maybe only African food or continental or mixed. Your mode of sleeping, either you love sleeping together or separately.
16. Discuss your sexual intimacy as well.
17. Talk about the time to be spent together: some couples live away from each other throughout their lives, as a result of job etc
Discuss about when to go to bed and when to wake up, time for family alter, etc.
18. Talk about your fashion preferences. Perhaps you’re the type who loves make up; use of earring, lipstick, cosmetics pedicure etc, or the type who doesn’t. Talk about it now.
19. Discuss about your Temperament.
20. Finally, above all these stated above, crave to engage in intelligent discussions.
So many young people are making excuses for their shortcomings in courtship, that, they don’t know what to talk about. And, as a result of that, the only thing that is available to do is sex, which can damage their marital pursuit. All we have mentioned above are not what to talk about while courting in a day; neither a month nor a year talk. They are something you can talk and talk until your mind is clear.
So many marriages are having problems today because they fail to talk the right thing while in courtship. They substitute their talking period for sex and other related acts.